Monday, August 29, 2011

On your mark...


After further examination, Usain Bolt’s false start over the weekend has been retracted; officials have stated that Usain Bolt beat the bullet out of the barrel on his way to another world title. Engineers are working day and night to design a better gun. In football news, Peyton Manning returns to practice. Coach Caldwell says Manning has been throwing, but he hasn’t been catching. Baby steps. Union leaders meet on Wednesday to discuss the future of the NBA. Derrick Rose flees overseas to avoid finishing his college degree in his spare time. College football returns this week. The BCS rankings have been adjusted to reflect the top programs with the least amount of scandals, which makes Princeton the number 1 team in the nation.

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